Today the weather is perfect...74 degrees, not too humid, slight breeze, sunny sky.

As I was driving home from a meeting at a coffee shop Laura and I rolled the windows down and stuck our arms out.  The air was so smooth as my arm moved through it.  Although I felt the resistance of the air, my arm cut right through...I imagined that if you could see air there would be a ribbon cut through it by my arm all the way down State Street.

I realized I missed this feeling.  

I miss dancing.

I thought I would miss the expression that dancing provides...and I do.  But I'm beginning to miss the feeling of moving around in space; rearranging the air. I always imagine while I'm dancing that my body can emit this color in the air that lingers for just a while after I've danced there so this pattern of colors fills every space that I've occupied on the stage.  It can change colors, and it only lasts as long as I want it to...sometimes I can shoot it outside of me like a laser, sometimes it's sparkly .  I just like the feeling that I have affected the space.

I miss leaving those colors around.  

In other news, I'm choreographing for a concert this year...SO excited!

I Hope...

I hope that I've never made anyone feel like they aren't worth my time.  If I've ever made anyone feel that way...I'm sorry

The Body...

So...we're all the body of Christ...

I'm willing to be the legs and walk you around...but there's a lot of mosquitos here in Mississippi and if you are the hands, I'd really appreciate it if you smack the ones that land on me.

This is just a vent...

That's all

This song can pretty much describe why I'm still awake at 2:15 Wednesday night...

Faithful To Me -- Jennifer Knapp

All the chisels I've dulled carving idols of stone
That have crumbled like sand 'neath the waves
I have recklessly built all my dreams in the sand
Just to watch them all wash away

Through another day, another trial, another chance to reconcile
To one who sees past all I see
And reaching out my weary hand I pray that you understand
You're the only one who's faithful to me

All the pennies I've wasted in my wishing well
I have thrown like stones to the sea
I have cast my lots, dropped my guard, searched aimlessly
For a faith to be faithful to me

Through another day, another trial, another chance to reconcile
To one who sees past all I see
And reaching out my weary hand, I pray that you'll understand,
You're the only one who's faithful to me

You're the only one who's faithful to me

So... order of activities:

1.  Mess up

2.  Conviction

3.  Repeat #1 and #2

I mean...there's a choice of an alternate ending...you wouldn't know that I knew that, though.

Be Proud of Me...

Last night after I blogged I journaled 5 pages!

What is hiding in there???

I used to fill up a journal in a month...

I have been working on my current journal for a year now...I'm on page 40...

Seriously??? 

It is not because I have had less than 40 pages worth of noteworthy experiences.  Actually, I've had more than enough stories, secrets, and epiphanies to fill several journals.

I could blame it on time...I was very, very busy during the school year.  But the truth is all of those 40 pages with writing on them is from the school year.  This summer I had surgery and was stuck on the couch for 3 weeks.  I have had plenty of time this summer.

I have been contemplating this off and on for the past week.  I've sat down with every intention to write...but I didn't even open the journal up.  Why?  Why is it so hard for me to put my thoughts on paper?  Usually when I journal I find out a lot about myself.  It's like I didn't know what was in my head until it sat there in front of me in words.  That's how it is with dance too...I haven't been able to do that in a while either.

I think the reason I don't write anymore is out of fear.  Now it's been so long since I wrote or danced what was in my heart, I'm not sure if I like what's in there anymore.  To know what's in there would force me to see that I may not like who I'm becoming...

My homework:  WRITE.